Each month, we have discussed a different vow that all Catholic (and many non-Catholic) married couples took at their weddings.  This month’s vow is to love our spouse “in sickness and in health,” and it honestly couldn’t have come at a better time for me.  In fact, I laughed out loud when I realized it was next up.

Immune system of steel

You see, I never get sick.  I am pretty proud of what I affectionately call my “immune system of steel.”  As a busy mama of three littles, I have felt even more sure these past few years that getting sick just isn’t even an option for me.  My husband Chris gets sick much more often.  He got sick for a few days in early September, then again for a few more days in mid-September…And this weekend, he is sick yet again.

The first two times Chris was sick, I got frustrated with him easily. Why did he get sick so often? I had to pick up his slack and take care of the kids even more than usual (which is already a lot). The second time, I actually got sick myself- for the first time in maybe two years. Chris took better care of me than I did for him. I wanted to write this post about how I had learned my lesson from that experience, and next time he got sick I would be more patient and caring. Now that he is sick again, though, I have come to find out that… I still have some work to do with this vow.

I vowed to love Chris in sickness and in health. He may have more colds than the average bear, but thank God it isn’t something worse! Also, if I don’t love him in his sickness, my love for him in health is not real. So pray for me as I work on this!

A few ways to live out this vow

Whether you/ your spouse are facing a simple head cold or a much more serious diagnosis… Whether you have struggles with physical or mental health… Even if you are both totally healthy in every way right now… Here are some ways to be live out this vow today and every day the best you can.

1. Pray for your spouse’s physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health every day.

All aspects of our health are important.  My Spotlight Couple next week will share a little bit more about that, as the wife struggles with depression and anxiety…. Stay tuned for that!

Also, here is a great resource for praying for your spouse’s health.

2. Communicate your needs and wishes, then trust that they will be met.

Pray for your intentions, and keep your spouse in the loop about what you want/ need as well.  Then try to let go and trust that, between them, everything will be ok.  God and your spouse want what’s best for you, and will be a huge part of your journey to healing if you let them.

Confession allows people to be “reintegrated…into the community of the People of God from which sin had alienated or even excluded them.”

CCC 1443

3. Apologize and forgive.  

Throughout Jesus’ ministry, He performed miracles of healing. Lepers, blind people, Deaf people, those possessed with demons… They were all healed of their afflictions by Jesus, and in many cases this meant they could live a normal life and be part of society for the first time. This is the deeper beauty of healing revealed by Jesus: healing brings reconciliation.  It is not just about restoration of bodily health, but restoration of relationships between people (or between people and God). 

If you and your spouse are arguing or one has hurt the other, your marriage needs healing. You need reconciliation.  Apologize for any wrongs you have caused, and forgive your spouse in turn.  Then, go to Confession and encourage your spouse to go, too (check out my post about the importance of Confession in marriage and your spiritual life in general). Heal what sin has broken. Reintegrate yourselves as a married couple into the Body of Christ: His Church.

That grace is waiting for you!

Now go out and live this vow!

I hope this has been helpful!  If you have any stories to share about a time you and your spouse helped one another through a period of illness, comment below!  I would love to hear how you love one another “in sickness and in health.”

References:

Roman Catholic Church. The Catechism of the Catholic Church. 3rd ed. New York: Image, 1995.