Hi, readers! I am so excited for you to meet our Spotlight Couple for May. Michelle has been one of my closest friends since our college days when we lived together, took (literally) all our classes together, carpooled to our student-teaching placements together, went to Mass/ other events together at the Catholic Campus Ministry together… We were pretty much together 99% of the time but we didn’t get sick of each other! More than a decade later, and despite the military taking both of us all over the place, our friendship continues! Michelle has been so supportive of my book and ministry here on the blog/ social media. She and her husband Dennis have a great story, and I hope it is inspiring to you and your marriage.

1. Tell us your story.

Thanks to a mutual friend, we began corresponding while Dennis was deployed to Afghanistan in 2012. After 6 months of corresponding, he made it safely home from Afghanistan. He decided to surprise Michelle at the University she was attending with the help of their mutual friend. We began dating shortly after meeting in person and even though we hit some rough patches we always found a way back to each other. Michelle began a 54-day rosary novena to try to discern God’s will for her life. She did not disclose to Dennis that she was praying this novena but to her surprise the day after the novena ended Dennis asked her to marry him. We were married the weekend of Pentecost in 2015. One of our guests at our wedding pointed out that the gifts of the Holy Spirit which we celebrate on Pentecost were necessary for a successful marriage. We spent our first two years of marriage stationed in Germany and exploring as much of Europe as possible. We often joke that being stationed overseas was our honeymoon. We are grateful that Michelle can stay at home with our three little blessings. Dennis is still in the Army so we give them credit for the adventures and new places we get to explore.

2. What do you two like to do together?

We have found a love for charcuterie boards. We often have at home dates where we put one together and enjoy it with a movie. We also enjoy traveling and exploring new places which has been difficult to do recently (#thanksCOVID) but we are looking forward to new experiences in the future.

3. What does your domestic church look like?

As we raise children, we have come to understand the importance of having tangible items around our house to help them explore our faith. Our oldest son has been fascinated by the Mass from an early age. We wanted to cultivate what God was putting on his heart so we did our best to have tangible things like a Mass kit available for him (here’s a cute one from Etsy for anyone interested!). We also have other religious themed items like peg doll Saints and religious socks. Our kids have really thrived by having tangible items to help them learn more about our faith.

4. What was a trial you faced in your marriage?  How did you handle it?

During our Pre-Cana classes, the priest had us take a questionnaire to see if there were things we disagreed on or needed to discuss more in-depth. After the results came in, it was brought to our attention that we rarely discussed finances. It took us into our early married years before we realized we really needed to get on the same page. Thankfully, there was a friend who was amazing at finances and used her gift to help couples. She said it was her ministry. She worked with us to build a budget and gave us practical advice on how to stick to it. Later, Dennis went on to get a degree in accounting which has only benefited our understanding of finances. We strongly encourage couples to discuss finances before as well as throughout marriage. Communication is vital. We like some of Dave Ramsey’s ideas (though there are aspects we differ on). His Financial Peace University would be a good start for couples who need assistance in this area.

5. If you could give one piece of advice to a newly married couple, what would it be?

Dennis came up with what we joke is our family motto. “Teamwork makes the dream work.” Our children have learned the phrase and chant it with us. We’ve learned in our last six years of marriage that we are better when we work together to accomplish things from small tasks that seem trivial to big ones that are life changing.

Teamwork makes the dream work!

Ferry family motto

6. This month, we discuss how learning to love your spouse fully does not mean melding into one person, but instead often means supporting your spouse in their own individual interests. How do you two do this?

We do activities together a lot, even ones that the other isn’t particularly invested in. However, we both encourage the other to explore and engage in their own hobbies as well. For Dennis it was blacksmithing. He found a passion for forging and Michelle (though she doesn’t care for fire!) helped him find classes and a supportive community to help him pursue his hobby. Similarly, Michelle was asked to lead a Catholic women’s group while stationed in Germany. Dennis encouraged her to seize the opportunity. He also was always available to discuss ideas with and he helped her have the time to build a study from scratch.

Michelle doesn’t have an interest in creating things with hot metal and Dennis doesn’t have an interest in leading a book study with a group of women– and that is okay. It is okay to have different interests. We are two different people who have come together as one in the covenant of marriage but we haven’t lost our identities. Instead we have created a supportive environment where we each feel comfortable exploring our personal interests. The important thing is to support, encourage, and assist your spouse because you are ultimately on the same team. And as we stated earlier, “teamwork makes the dream work.”  

Thanks for sharing, Michelle and Dennis!

I am so blessed to have you guys in my life, and you have blessed my readers with a wonderful example, too. Teamwork does indeed make the dream work!

Reader, if YOU would to be featured as a future Spotlight Couple, contact me or post in the comments below!