It’s the third Sunday of the month, so we get to meet another modern Spotlight Couple! I met Katrina through our Catholic-mama due date group: her first baby was due right around the time our third was due, so we bonded over all the weird, beautiful, and gross parts of each stage in pregnancy. She and her husband Gordon are still newlyweds, but they offer some great advice and it is so clear God is working in their marriage. I hope you enjoy reading more about them!
- Tell us your story.
Gordon and I met at a mutual friend’s Christmas party in 2018. He was the only person there who I didn’t know, so I was quite intrigued. We had a great conversation that night. At the time, I was fresh off a rough breakup of a long-term relationship and dating was not on my radar, but I remember walking away from my conversation with Gordon thinking, “Maybe I will be able to date again someday…”. We got to know each other better throughout our local Catholic young adults’ dodgeball league that winter and he asked me out toward the end of the season. We dated for about 9 months before he proposed on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception in 2019. We were supposed to be married in the spring of 2020 and the COVID pandemic threw a wrench in ALL of our plans. We ended up trimming our guest list from ~500 people to 10, but felt called to enter the sacrament without delay! Though a huge change in plans, I really cannot imagine a better way to start our marriage than standing side by side in complete surrender to God’s plan for our life. We just welcomed our first son, and we are so excited to continue to surrender to the adventure that God has planned for us!
- What do you two like to do together?
We love to play sports, board games & card games together. We love to talk about any and all of the things, and still haven’t run out of subject matter despite being quarantined together for most of 2020! We are both passionate about evangelization through relationships and have enjoyed opportunities to receive and get to know other people. We are looking forward to continuing to open up our home and family to others with the hopes of building community and providing a place of encounter with the Lord!
- What does your domestic church look like?
We are still working on developing this! We have tried a lot of different ways of praying together as a couple/family and some things have stuck more easily than others. I would encourage every couple to just TRY different ways of living liturgically & see what is best for your family in whatever season you are in!
I love how we pray together at night — we ask each other for a blessing and petition from the day, in addition to something that made the other person feel loved & if there is anything that that we could do better. Then we have a “freestyle” prayer, incorporating gratitude for each other’s blessings and interceding for each other’s petitions. We ask the Lord to bless our spouse, and usually mention a few specific graces that they might need.
We have set aside time in the morning for each of us to do personal prayer and often will discuss what is happening in our personal prayer lives. In the past, we have had seasons of praying morning or evening prayer together and praying the rosary together more regularly.
- What was a trial you faced in your marriage? How did you handle it?
Early on in our relationship, we had frequent misunderstandings and some pretty big gridlocks that were a struggle to talk and work through. This caused a lot of tension and dis-unity in our relationship. I (Katrina) sought out counseling and discovered I had some pretty severe anxiety that I wasn’t aware of, but came to realize that it was significantly affecting how I perceived, received and responded to Gordon. Finding my own healing was so beneficial to our relationship! Gordon’s support, patience, forgiveness and unconditional love provided an incredibly safe space while I worked toward personal healing. We also used a lot of the tactics from the book “A Lasting Promise” by Scott Stanley to improve our communication and conflict skills. The tactics from the book allowed us to stay calm while exploring a conflict, which led us to discovering that the issue at hand was often actually something very different than it seemed. It was an absolute game changer to be able to identify and then work through the actual problem, instead of spending time and energy on just the trigger.
(Side note: we don’t love the theology presented in the first chapter of the book, as it has some flaws, but it is too good not to mention!)
- If you could give one piece of advice to a newly married couple, what would it be?
Always assume the best of your spouse’s intentions! We have learned a lot about communication. The filter through which you receive information and view your spouse can affect your relationship so significantly. It helps tremendously to always assume the best and explore questions and unmet needs from there.
- This month’s Challenge is to pray the Stations of the Cross. Which Station resonates with you in your married life, and how?
When thinking about which station most resonates with our marriage thus far, the fifth station stands out the most: Simon of Cyrene Helps Jesus Carry His Cross. Throughout our whole relationship (dating, engagement and now marriage), we have been helpmates to each other as we both grow in self-awareness, discipline and virtue. Whenever one of us is struggling, the other is there to help carry the burden. In addition to helping one another, we believe that bearing our own crosses is a participation in Jesus’ carrying of the cross and strive to live a marriage in which we accept whatever God asks to place on our shoulders.
Such a beautiful message for us all as we strive to be better helpmates to our own spouses! Thanks so much for sharing, Katrina and Gordon. Now, reader, if YOU would like to be featured as a spotlight couple in a future post, send me a message or drop a comment below!
