Our Holy Role Model for February is Bl. Barbe Acarie, a woman who helped found the Carmelite order of nuns in France and joined that order after her kids had grown and her husband, Pierre, had died.  She is a great example of loving our spouse fully, as she loved Pierre with all of his shortcomings and through many trials.

Barbara, or Barbe, Avrillot was born into a well-to-do family on February 1, 1566 in Paris, France.  The Avrillots had lost several infant children, so when Barbe was born healthy, her mother consecrated her to the Blessed Virgin in thanksgiving.  

Barbe was educated by Franciscan nuns, and she felt drawn to their lifestyle from an early age.  But her mother wanted Barbe to marry, even punishing Barbe to an abusive level when she declined to attend social events to meet men.  Finally, at age 16, her marriage to Pierre Acarie was arranged.  Pierre was a pious man, but as a viscount, he also wanted his wife to dress and eat like a noblewoman, which was difficult for simple Barbe.

Together, the Acaries had six children between 1584 and 1592: Nicholas, Marie, Pierre, Jehan (Jean), Marguerite, and Geneviève.  According to her biographer Emily Bowles, Barbe “made religion beautiful and delightful” to her children.  They all prayed the Mass and the Divine Office together every day.  She taught her children to genuinely love their neighbor as themselves, and to treat even the servants as respected members of the family.  The Acarie children grew quickly in virtue.   One of her daughters asserted that, even after 20 years in a convent, she “never learned anything more perfect than she had practiced long before” at home.  

Barbe was purported to have many gifts that made her a wonderful spiritual guide, including prophecy, reading hearts, and discerning spirits.  She was often known to fall into ecstasies during prayer before the Blessed Sacrament.  She practiced many mortifications, and was also the first French woman gifted with (invisible but attested) stigmata wounds, which are holes that mirror the nail marks in the hands/ feet of Christ.

Madame Acarie was known to take prostitutes into her own home while she helped them find another way to make ends meet, and around 20 women preparing for Carmelite life also lived in the family home.  Barbe’s other ministries included sewing silk gowns for the poor so that they would not be ridiculed for their poverty and directing donations of food during a famine.  

Everything was going well for the Acaries, until Pierre’s involvement in the French Wars of Religion led to his political exile.  He had accumulated significant debt, too, so Barbe began selling furniture and family heirlooms, and she even had to beg in the streets for money at times to feed her children.  One evening debt collectors actually broke into the Acaries’ home during dinner and took away the chairs and plates the family was currently using!  Still, when family members begged Barbe to at least save her own dowry and separate her fortune from her husband’s, she refused.  She said that nothing “should induce her to make any division of goods when God had bound them together and added that she loved her husband too much not to share all his misfortunes (Bowles).”

And so Barbe set to work aiding her husband.  She sent her children off to school or to stay with relatives so that she could devote her full attention to defending Pierre in court, writing letters to people who might be helpful, and visiting her husband.  At one point, she even had to raise ransom money when Pierre was taken prisoner!  But in 1596, after three years of separation, Barbe was finally able to reunite her family.

Soon after, Barbe read a biography of St. Teresa of Ávila, and was immediately captivated with the life of this Saint and the charism of the order she had founded, the Discalced Carmelites.  In 1601, St. Teresa of Ávila actually appeared to Barbe.  St. Teresa told Barbe that God was calling her to bring the Discalced Carmelite order to France.  With the help of her friends, including spiritual director St. Francis de Sales, Barbe invited nuns from Ávila to come personally help set up the French convents, because only they could ensure that every detail would be exactly as it was in Spain.  

Barbe was instrumental in the founding of at least four Carmelite convents, or Carmels, and all three of her daughters eventually became Carmelite nuns.  One of them is now on her own path to sainthood as Ven. Margaret of the Blessed Sacrament!  

In 1613, Pierre fell ill, and quickly received his Last Rites when Barbe had a vision that he would die.  He also begged Barbe to forgive him for everything he had made her suffer throughout their marriage, and he thanked her for everything she had done for him.  For loving his faults and strengths alike; for all the crosses she had carried with him, or for him, as his wife.

Barbe Acarie saw her childhood dream fulfilled when she entered the convent as a widow in 1615.  As humble as ever, she begged to be admitted as only a lay sister at the poorest Carmel.  Sister Mary of the Incarnation exuded joy in every small task that she was given, giving herself as fully to this vocation as to her previous vocation to marriage.  After a long struggle with illness, she died in 1618, during Holy Week.  She was 52 years old.

Bl. Mary of the Incarnation was beatified by Pope Pius VI in 1791.  She may be better known by her Carmelite name, but most of the saintly work of this woman’s life was actually accomplished during her 31 years of marriage, while she was simply Madame Barbe Acarie.   

References:

“Blessed Mary of the Incarnation.” Carmelite Sisters OCD. https://carmelitesistersocd.com/2016/9carmelitesaints_day6/.

Bowles, Emily. A Gracious Life, The Life of B. Acarie. N.p.: Oxford University, 1879.

“Catholic League (French).” Wikipedia. Last modified May 20, 2020. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_League_(French).

Discalced Carmelites. Discalced Carmelites of the Australia-Oceania Region. http://www.carmelite.com/spirituality/default.cfm?loadref=86.

Guérin, Msgr. Paul. “Blessed Mary of the Incarnation.” Sanctoral. https://sanctoral.com/en/saints/blessed_mary_of_the_incarnation_carmelite.html.”Stigmata.” Catholic Online. Last modified, 2020. https://www.catholic.org/saints/stigmata/.