As we drank champagne and waited for midnight on December 31st, my friend Sofia encouraged each person at her small party to share a New Year’s resolution. For her part, Sofia wanted to prioritize time for self-care. Someone else made us all laugh when he asserted he would read a book in 2023. (“Just one? Any particular book? May I recommend… the Bible?”)

Though I normally don’t do New Year’s resolutions, I actually had one this year, and a plan to back it up to boot. I had already written this blog post about it, so there was no turning back now. I felt a little weird announcing it at the party, though.

“My resolution is to become more humble.”

You see what I mean? It seems oxymoronic to announce that in front of a group of people. “Everyone, eyes on me. I’m going to be humble!” I got the raised eyebrows and shifty glances I fully expected to get that night. 

Still, I put my plan into action. And here we are, halfway through 2023 already. So, in the same ironic spirit of publicly sharing things related to humility…here is my “halftime update.”

1. Deliver me, Jesus

Come January 1st, I started praying along with the Litany of Humility on the Hallow app. To be completely honest (and humble!) here, I haven’t quite gotten to it every single day, but it is generally part of my evening routine and I have really enjoyed it. 

The Litany of Humility is not a long prayer, but every single line hits hard. “From the desire of being loved, from the desire of being preferred to others, from the fear of being forgotten…deliver me Jesus.” This litany has helped me notice how attached I am to my image and other people’s opinions of me. Each time I pray it, I can feel God highlighting places in my life where I still have room to grow in humility. 

2. Humiliated or humbled?

Whenever I remember, I also thank God for situations that are embarrassing for me or make someone else shine out above me. I know He is using these moments to help me grow in this target virtue, too. The question is, are these moments humiliating, or are they humbling? 

I have been reflecting on the fact that those two words come from the same root. One has a negative connotation and the other a more positive one, and yet the end effect is the same: less of me. Humiliation isn’t a bad thing if I let it make me humble instead of angry, insecure, or empty.

3. How can I make this conversation less about me?

As an extrovert who thoroughly enjoys chatting, I have found that the most frequent occasion I get to exercise my humility muscles is during a conversation. Most people want to talk about themselves most of the time. This can be super frustrating until I stop to realize…I am doing it, too.

When I enter into a conversation with someone, I try to ask myself, “How can I make this conversation less about me?” If someone asks me a question directly, of course I will answer it. But if someone is recounting an experience they had, I try to ask them a clarifying question or request more details about their experience, rather than just waiting impatiently for them to finish speaking so I can share my own related experience.

It can definitely be difficult to swallow my pride and not hear my own voice so often! I try to remember that the Saints got to heaven because they lived lives of heroic virtue. So growing in virtue is not a gentle, easy process, but more like being a superhero in training. I like to picture the scene from the Disney movie where Hercules is training with the satyr Phil. This is zero to hero, people! As heroes for Christ, there are few tougher adversaries we face in battle than our own pride.

Pray for me!
I’ve got six more months of 2023 to keep working on my current target virtue of humility (though of course it will be a lifetime battle!). If you have any suggestions for me in the second half of this year, I am all ears… Please comment below! I am praying for you, reader, as you grow in virtue and fight the good fight, too!